Supporting new fathers through the challenges of parenthood

According to the NHS, 1 in 10 men can experience postnatal depression or anxiety following the birth of a child. Postnatal depression is different to the ‘baby blues’ which is common for many to experience after welcoming a child. Postnatal depression varies from person to person, but may involve feeling sad or low for a prolonged period of time, or finding it difficult to take care of yourself and the baby. 24%-50% of fathers with depressed partners will also experience depression themselves. It’s important that mothers, fathers and birthing partners are able to access support if they are struggling.

We spoke to Caroline, joint Clinical Team Lead of our TALKWORKS South Hams and West Devon team, about men’s mental health and the impact that welcoming a child can have on a father. Caroline said: “Men may be less likely to have support or contact with services, and they also may present with different symptoms to woman. Did you know that up to 10% of dads go through depression and 15% experience anxiety after their child has been born? I’m pleased that this is being recognised more widely and men in the perinatal period are now being offered a priority service within TALKWORKS following their self-referral. Below is a conversation that I had with my colleague Tim, Clinical Team Lead of our Teignbridge team, around transition to fatherhood and his experience of this. Tim has 2 young children and juggles work and childcare with his partner.”

What was your biggest challenge in becoming a father?

Tim: Initially it was around anxiety. I felt like I was left with lots of responsibility and no training for this. We were sent home on day one and there is nothing. The lack of sleep was really difficult to adjust to. When we had our second child, I felt more prepared and more confident and less anxious about new scenarios, however it was more of juggle.

Was there anything that you found helpful as a new parent?

Tim: Doing things together - recognising that the relationship with my wife was going to be different by accepting this change and acknowledging it with my partner. It has also been important to manage my expectations and remind myself that being a parent is hard. I try not to make comparisons between myself and others. I have also found exercise really helpful – this helped improve my mental and physical wellbeing while giving me time to myself.

Do you share any advice with your friends who are about to become fathers?

Tim: I say trust yourself - there is always conflicting advice. Keep communicating with your partner.

Is there anything else you would like dad to be or new dads to know?

Tim: 99% of the time its ok. Try not to get caught up in the worry.

What help is available through TALKWORKS to new and expectant parents?

If you are a new or expectant parent and are feeling overwhelmed, experiencing increased anxiety or have noticed a change in your mood, help is available.

TALKWORKS is a free NHS talking therapies service, open to adults (age 18+) living in Devon (outside Plymouth which is covered by Plymouth Options). Our NHS therapists are here to listen and work with you to manage your difficulties so that you can get back to feeling like yourself again. We offer a fast-track priority service for expectant parents and those who have recently welcomed a child, under the age of 2.

You can self-refer to TALKWORKS without needing an appointment with a GP. Simply complete our online self-referral form or call the team on 0300 555 3344. Alternatively, if you would like to book an appointment with your GP first, they can make the referral on your behalf if you would prefer them to.

Preparing to have a baby and life as a new parent can be tough, but you are not alone. The sooner you reach you out for support, the easier it is for us to help you.